Bartender’s Tips by CJ Schaffer
Take the Trick
There are times when working in a restaurant can be boring, and October can be very slow in this area. That is why some of my fondest memories of work come from Halloween. It’s not just the costumes (last year I was so excited I had three for different parts of the day), or the candy, or the excitement over whether or not you will run into an Edward look-alike (that’s for the Twilight fans, a.k.a. my daughter, her friends, and my mom); for me the most exciting part is not knowing if I’ll get a treat or a trick. In the best interest of my readers I am going to give you some examples of tricks played over the years so you will know what to look out for, and I would love to hear some of your stories. Please email me next week and let me know about your tricks.
A couple of years ago I had no other vehicle to drive but this big old delivery van. It was a sweet ride let me tell you. The van had a few different doors and I always forgot to lock at least one of them. I’ll bet you know what is about to happen, right? Well one of my coworkers hid in the back to scare me, and the tricky part was he waited until I was on the highway before jumping up to scare me! My tip for you, lock your doors. I have never left mine unlocked since.
That same coworker had so much fun that he decided to pick on me some more by doing things like climbing to the top of the walk-in refrigerator to jump down on me when I went to the back. I allowed him to continue scaring me until I figured out his weakness…brownies. I made a nice plate of laxative brownies just for him. Unfortunately we ended up getting busy that night and I totally forgot about my evil little plan, and I and everyone else at work had a nice Halloween brownie after our shift…oops. My tip for you, do not to eat treats that aren’t packaged (remember your mother’s advice).
Beware of wardrobe malfunctions. I thought it would be alright to wear a costume that was a bit risqué to work. My plan was to wear leggings under the costume. I got dressed with my friend and coworker who failed to tell me everything was very see-through from behind…ha, ha, ha. I’m still mad at her for that. I did, however, make good tips that night despite it being slow. My tip for you, check your own back side.
I thought it would be really funny to dress up as a pregnant woman one year. I should have known it was a bad idea because my daughter cried when she thought it was real, but I went ahead and went to work in my “condition”. My tip for you, if you’re going to dress up as a pregnant woman, don’t have a cocktail while in costume. I almost had a woman slap me.
I had a very good looking man come into the place I work, and I was single at the time, so I was thinking, ‘yea for me!’ I went up to the table to get his order and he smiled at me with his mouth closed and pointed at what he wanted. I thought it was a little strange but oh well. I brought him his food and he smiles at me and thanks me. His teeth were disgusting, but I had already been flirting shamelessly with him I thought I’m really going to look like a jerk if I stop now…so I continued to flirt. As he was leaving he thanked me and smiled big, I didn’t even notice that his teeth were beautiful until he said, “I must be the nicest person because I did not change the way I talked to him or treated him after I saw his trick teeth. My tip for you, I’m not that nice…or was it, don’t judge a book by its cover? Grandma is almost always right.
I had this boss who thought he was really hot stuff. I had some of my coworkers help me out and they told him I was upset and he should stay away from me and not talk to me. At the end of the night he came to speak to me and he looked a little nervous as I sat there pretending to cry. When he asked me what was wrong I told him I was hopelessly in love with him and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. He thought I was serious and gave me a speech about how girls will often get crushes on their bosses. I felt bad telling him it was a joke, and we had all set him up…”Trick”…My tip for you, don’t mess with the boss.
Please send questions and comments to cj@sierramountaintimes.com.
