Bartender’s Tips by CJ Schaffer
So You Think You’re Funny
Working in restaurants can make a person a bit warped…although I may have always been strange. One night a few years ago I was in a strange mood before I went to work. On the way there I decided that since it was going to be a very busy holiday weekend, and most, if not all, of the regulars would be steering clear of town; I was going to speak with a southern accent all night. I had lived in the south for a couple of years so I figured I could pull it off. My co-workers being, by this time, used to my strange sense of humor went along with it when I told them my plan. I chickened out the first few tables. Then I got a table of really grouchy people, whom the hostess warned me about before I went to the table. I walked up to the table and said, “Hi! How ya’ll doin’,” in my most convincing accent. Well, they fell for it, and in fact every table I had afterward did too. All of these California people thought my accent was just “charming” and I made the best tips of my life that night. To me, it was hilarious. The only problem was that when some of these people returned I no longer had my accent and I felt I couldn’t tell them that I was just having a bit of fun that night and essentially made a fool of them; in my own mind, because I had been in a “strange” mood. So, I thought I was funny, but these people would not have thought it was very funny if I told them what I had done. Why? I feel they had some kind of what I call “reverse discrimination” meaning I feel they thought this poor little southern girl with the “cute” little accent was so “charming” trying to make it in big ‘ol California. I think this because they told me things like “good luck,” and how they “loved my manners.” I had not acted any different than I normally do; I just changed the way I spoke.
Although I thought I was funny that time and it had backfired, a year latter, not learning my lesson the first time, I thought I would be funny again. This time a group of people had sat at the bar. I served them and asked them where they were from. They told me they were from San Francisco. Next they asked me if I knew where that was, and if I had ever been there. I felt this was a really stupid and insulting question, so I told them I had never been there and I was not sure where it was. “I do know it’s in California,” I said. Ha Ha Ha…For the next hour they were in the bar they kept singing the praises of San Francisco telling me I really need to “expand my horizons,” and, “leave this small town.” I know I had told them that I had never been there, but seriously.
Still not learning my lesson I had a man come up to the bar and say, “I’m a vegan, do you know what that is?” I lift my hand in the well practiced Vulcan greeting and say, “Ya, like live long and prosper…right?” Well he did not think I was very funny, and after he explained what a vegan is for five minutes I thanked him for the information because I felt I could not tell him I was just kidding with the Vulcan thing after he had taken me so seriously.
What is my point? Well my point is we all assume things about people. I assume that people will “get” my strange sense of humor and other people assume they know more because I just work in a restaurant. My advice for the week is don’t assume because you know what that does!
Please send comments or questions to cj@sierramountaintimes.com. Thank you and remember to smile at someone.
