Sierra Mountain Times

Desperately Dating

If I were to write a personal ad for myself I do not know what I would say. This question came up because a friend of mine came in to see me to talk about her recent quest to find a date for Christmas. She explained that last year after having to sit next to her perverted uncle for what she hoped would be the last time, she promised herself that next year she would be in a relationship so she would not have to be the only single person in the family. 

She had started her quest on the Internet due to the fact that she is a busy and very successful businesswoman. She has become discouraged because she felt rejected by most of the men with profiles before she even finished reading them. “I do not understand how men in their forties can say they only want to date people between eighteen and thirty,” she said. The answer to that question, I told her, may be that when you are writing out your profile you can say or ask for anything you want without the fear of being rejected. 

My friend agreed with me. However, she says that every time she looks at her own profile she reads it and groans because she looks really pathetic and needy. I asked her why she feels that way, and she replies, “I just don’t know what to say.” I told her she should just be honest, and say something like: “female seeking male to be boyfriend at Christmas to keep my perverted uncle away from me.” For some reason she did not think that was too funny. “Seriously,” I ask her, “do you really want a relationship or not; because you do not even have time to see me or send me an email every week and we have been friends for a long time.” 

“I really don’t know what I want,” she said. “I’m forty this year, and I’m afraid I’ll be the crazy cat lady soon.”

So we came up with a game plan. I would like input from my readers and we are asking advice from you to help. This is what we came up with so far. She is going to create several different profiles. In one she is going to say something like, as jokingly suggested, about the perverted uncle while adding other unsavory things about herself – like the fact she picks her nose in the morning and looks at what comes out, or the fact that she loves soap operas and feels like the characters are her family. She knows that these are things that could scare off a potential mate so she is not putting her picture on this profile and she is using an old nickname.

The next profile she is going to be all about business. She is going to write about all of her accomplishments and all of the travel she has done. We were thinking of posting a funny caption like: “I’m a shark watch out or I’ll bite you.”

The last profile will be the one she already has set up, but she is going to take out anything about her accomplishments in business.

Although my friend really doesn’t have time or the desire to keep a relationship, she, like the rest of us, needs someone to share things with, and if she does have to spend another holiday sitting next to her uncle, at least two old friends got to sit together and catch up while laughing our heads off. That is what life is really about: good friends, laughing, family, and having someone who will be there for you even if you are the crazy cat lady.

Please write in with any advice you may have to help my friend. I will keep all of you updated on her situation since, as of the day I am writing this; we only have one hundred twenty three days until Christmas!

Please respond at 

cj@sierramountaintimes.com. 

Thank you.