Bartender’s Tips by CJ Schaffer
This One is for the Ladies
No, your butt does not look big in those jeans; stop asking! No, he was not looking at that girl; stop asking! Ladies are you serious…
This must have been the week that every insecure woman decided to come into my bar. I will apologize ahead of time to all those women out there who are confident and can hold their own, but I know that you all at least have a friend who will fit this profile.
I want to start this off by saying I am nice to people who sit at the bar because it is my job. I DON’T WANT YOUR MAN!!! Stop being rude to the bartender because you are insecure…and I can hear you telling your boyfriend that you think I’m ugly. Do some women really think that by putting other women down they somehow look better?
The first couple of the weekend walk in, they are both smiling and appear to be having a good time together. The couple approaches the bar hand in hand; they are smiling at each other, and laughing. “Hello,” says the friendly and beautiful bar tender (this is me). All of a sudden the mood in the bar changes as lightning bolts shoot out of the eyes of the woman. I am exaggerating here, but you get my point. The next hour I stood behind the bar being ignored by this woman, and listening to her tell her boyfriend five times that she is fat, twice that she hated her hair cut, and once that I was ugly. Yes, I kept track with tallies (it was slow early on). By the time they left I was ready to dump her for him.
Next, a woman walks in by herself. I can tell that she really put effort into how she looked this evening, and she looks nice. There is a problem though, the air fills up with a smell that is familiar… it is, yes it is, oh no, it’s desperation. This may seem a bit mean of me, but I see it all too often. The woman sits down and gives me a warm smile, (thank god she’s not going to be rude!), and orders a drink. After a few drinks she had hit on every man in sight, even the sixteen-year-old dishwasher. I and everyone else within earshot learned that she had just been dumped and was looking for a good time. I stopped serving her and as she sobered up she started to ask me what I thought was wrong with her.
Here’s the deal, there is nothing wrong with you. No one is any better than the other. We do not need to be rude to one another and we do not need to go around looking for a man to make ourselves feel better. Women, we need to be our own best friends. We worry so much about the people in our lives: our bosses, boyfriends, husbands, kids, parents, and friends. How do we have time for us? Sometimes we give so much as women that we get taken advantage of, and at that point we either feel so useless that we keep letting people do it to us, or we become bitter. I agree that there is an in-between, but it seems rare on my side of the bar. Here is my advice: take time to love yourself and be nice to other women. Let’s start a revolution and be there for each other. Most important: be there for yourself and do what is good for you once in awhile.
You can reach me at :
cj@sierramountaintimes.com
